Amy's asininity

Sigh

2012-01-10T13:32:00.000-08:00

Someday, I'll remember things like when I have a doctor's appointment, what day of the week it is, or when an assignment is due. Someday. But right now, life is chaos, and I couldn't really say for certain if I brushed my teeth this morning (I'm pretty sure I did...). I hate being so disorganized. I hate not being able to find my phone in the mess of burp cloths, baby toys, and toddler toys that is now my sorry excuse for a living room (seriously, good luck finding my couch... I think it's still there under a pile of baby blankets and clean clothes waiting to be put away, but it may have run off, being somewhat offended by a lack of attention. I can't say for certain). And as for finding anything in my kitchen, well, it's either in the dishwasher waiting to be cleaned or in the dish rack waiting to dry and be put away. Or in the slowly cooling water in my sink waiting for me to be able to put the baby down and get the toddler entertained for five minutes so I can wash them, and add them to ever growing stack of dishes waiting to dry and be put away.

But despite all that, I wouldn't trade my two babies for anything. I'd rather live in chaos for these few years than have the cleanest house and most organized ever (particularly since I wasn't all that organized to begin with, but at least everything was put away). I hate forgetting, I hate feeling like I'm just struggling to keep up with cleaning my house, not to mention the rest of my life, but I know it's (probably) only temporary. Someday, I'll have a clean house again, and I'll be able to remember why I had to go to the grocery store without making the same trip four times in a week just to pick up milk. And when that happens, I'll look back on these days and sigh and say "I miss that time!"

About Our Newest Family Member

2011-12-31T10:39:00.000-08:00

Our son, Evan, was born witha unilateral cleft through his lip and gum on the left side of his face and abilateral cleft through his hard and soft palates. Basically this means he has one cleft throughhis lip/gum, and both sides of his palate are cleft. For those not familiar with cleft lip/palate,I’m posting this blog to answer a few (basic) questions. At the end there will be a short list ofthings we are thankful for in this situation and things for which we’d reallylike your prayers.

The cause of cleftlip/palate is unknown: it could be due to environmental influences (e.g. a lackof vitamin B12 during pregnancy) or due to genetics. In our case, both Mark and I have a family historyof cleft lip/palate, so Evan’s cleft is most likely genetic. A cleft occurs during the formation of theface: basically, the human face forms from the outside in, and a cleft is justa place where things didn’t meet when everything closed up. Since the face is formed during weeks 6 and 7of gestation, a cleft will happen at this early point. Cleft lip/palate is pretty easily repairedand will not cause any major long term issues. The main concern with cleft babies is early in their development: mostdo not eat well (they cannot get adequate suction to nurse or to drink from aregular bottle and special bottles are necessary to feed, and sometimes eventhat takes a while), a cleft palate will interfere with early speechdevelopment (which can be fixed with speech therapy), and cleft babies are moreprone to ear infections/fluid behind their ears, so many have ear tubes at ayoung age. Since a cleft is a midlineissue, there is concern for other, internal organs (e.g. the heart, kidneys,etc.). A cleft lip can be a sign thatinternal organs are not completely formed (this happens in about 30% of babieswith cleft lip/palate). For moreinformation on cleft lip/palate, you can check out www.cleftline.org.

We are so thankful for Evanin general, but we are especially thankful that his internal organs seem to beOK. We’ve been to a pediatriccardiologist twice to check on his heart and its growth; everything is workingwell and normal. He has had x-rays of hislungs and an ultrasound of his kidneys and they all are functioning very welland normally (the ultrasound technician said his kidneys were “beautiful”). Despite his cleft palate, Evan is eating likea champ and gaining weight and growing at a good, normal rate. We are also thankful for the little “helps”God has put in our lives:

Every nurse wehad at the hospital when Evan was born, and even at the Cardiologist’s office, hadworked with cleft babies in neonatal units before and were able to give usadvice and help when we needed it most.
The Universityof Iowa hospitals are only 45 minutes away from us and have a nationallyrecognized cleft team; Evan has already met with them and we have a tentativeplan of action for him.
The main nursewe are working with at U of I has a daughter who was born with a bilateralcleft in her lip/palate, so she not only knows the medical side but canempathize and advise from the parental side too.
On Christmas Eve,we ran into a family at our church whose son was born with a cleft; they don’t normallygo to our church as they live out of town, but were there to meet with somefamily. They were able to give us advice,comfort, and contact information in case we had any questions.

We would appreciate yourprayers in the following areas:

Feeding: because of the cleft, Evan is not ableto nurse. I’ve been pumping breast milk and bottle feeding him (its timeconsuming, but well worth the benefits). He is gaining weight (yay!), andeating well. The two issues here are my ability to pump consistently withtwo children to care for, and that Evan is getting sores inside his mouth oneither side of his cleft from the bottles, making eating a painful necessity;he eats, but he doesn’t like it. The soresseem to be getting less painful for him, so it looks like this issue will fixitself soon.
Hearing: he has not completely passed a hearingtest yet. At the hospital, just after he was born, his left ear passed,but his right ear was too clogged with gunk to test. When we went backfor a second hearing screen, neither ear passed. They believe that thisis because he has fluid buildup behind his ear-drums (not uncommon in babieswith clefts) and he may need ear tubes to avoid hearing loss. We areunable to be certain that he can hear out of his right ear. We go backfor more hearing tests in a few weeks, so hopefully then we will be able getconclusive results about his hearing.
Surgeries: we do not have a specific date forany surgery at this point but here is the basic outline of what will happenwhen:

Lip/noserepair around 6 months of age (approximately the end of May). If he needsear tubes, this will be the time when they put them in. the timing here depends upon two things: Evan’sgrowth and how well the taping goes (taping is a process that involves puttinga special tape across the face that will help pull the cleft together more,making surgery easier on both baby and surgeon).
Palaterepair around 12 to 14 months of age (again, dependent upon his growth).
Bonegraft for his gum when his adult teeth start coming in, sometime between fiveand nine years old.
“Touch-up”surgery when he is in his late teens to make sure scar tissue isn’t interferingwith his facial muscle development.

Funding: while we have decent insurance, we aren't sure how much the surgeries will cost us out of pocket. On a teacher's and freelancer's salaries, we're hoping we can save enough to afford these surgeries. At this point, we are just trying to save up what we can in order to be able to pay for two major surgeries in one year.

All that said, Evan is such a great littleguy and a joy to have in our family. We greatly appreciate your prayers for him!

Crochet Pattern for Stuffed Bubble Yoda

2011-11-14T20:41:00.001-08:00

This is my first time attempting to create/write a pattern. Being intelligent, I didn't write things down as I went, so I hope the below information is correct. Also, math is not my strongest subject, so hopefully all my calculations are correct.... If there are any errors or if anything is unclear, please let me know! I hope you enjoy ;-)

Materials:

Yarn A: worsted weightgreen (I used Lion Brand Organic Cotton because it’s what I had in the rightcolor)

Yarn B: worsted weightchocolate brown

Yarn C: worsted weightlight brown or tan

Crochet hook G

Tapestry needle

Stuffing

Abbreviations:

SC: single crochet Slst: slip stich

HDC: half doublecrochet St:stich

DC: double crochet Ch:chain

Notes: do not turn project unless otherwise advised. Also, rows are worked in continuous rounds. Smart people use markers to indicate where their rows begin... I just count. I recommend using markers...

Yoda head and body: With A, ch 2

Row 1: 8 SC in 2^ndch from hook (8 st)

Row 2: 2 SC in each st(16 st)

Row 3: *SC in next st,2 SC in next st* (rep from *)(24 st.)

Row 4: *SC in next 2sts, 2 SC in next st* (rep from *) (32 st)

Row 5: *SC in next 3sts, 2 SC in next st* (rep from *) (40 st)

Row 6: SC in each staround (40 st)

Row 7: *SC in next 3,2 SC in next st* (rep from *) (50 st)

Row 8 -22: SC in eachst around (50 st)

Row 28: *SC in next 3 st, SC 2tog* (repfrom *) (40 st)

Row 29: SC in each st (40 st) Beginstuffing piece. Continue to stuff as youwork.

Row 30: *SC in next 2 st, SC 2tog* (repfrom *) (30 st)

Row 31: SC in each st (30 st)

Row 32: *SC in next st, SC 2tog* (rep from*) (20 st)

Row 33-34: SC in each st (20 st)

Row 35: change to B, SC in each st (20 st)

Row 36: * 2 SC in next st* (rep from *) (40st)

Row 37: *SC in next 2 st, 2 SC in next st*(rep from *) (60 st)

Row 38-58: SC in each st (60 st)

Row 59: SC in bl in each st (60 st)

Row 60: *SC in next 4, SC 2tog*(rep from *)(50 st)

Row 61: *SC in next 3, SC 2tog* (rep from*) (40 st)

Row 62: *SC in next 2, SC 2tog* (rep from*) (30 st)

Row 63: *Sc in next st, SC 2tog* (rep from*) (20 st)

Row 64: *SC 2tog* (rep from *) (10 st)

Row 65: *SC 2tog* (rep from *) (5 st). Bindoff and weave in ends

Arms: with A, ch 2

Row 1: 4 SC in 2^ndst from hook (4 st).

Row 2: 2 SC in each st(8 st)

Row 3: *SC in next st,2 SC in next st* (rep from *) (12 st).

Row 4: SC in each st(12 st).

Row 5: Change to B: SCin each st (12 st)

Row 6 -10: SC in eachst (12 st). Bind off leaving a long tailfor sewing.

Ears (Make 2): with A, ch 10

Row 1: sl st in 2^ndch from hook. Sl st in next chain. SC innext chain. HDC in next ch. DC 2tog twice. HDC in last chain (7 sts: 2 slsts, 1 SC, 2 HDC, 2 DC).

Row 2: Ch 2,turn. DC in next 2 sts. HDC in nextst. *2 SC in next st* (repeat from *).Sl st to the end of the row. Sl st 4 inthe final st to create an edge to the ear, then sl st around the bottom of the ear to create a smoother finish. Bind off leaving a long tail for sewing.

Feet (Make 2): with A, ch 4

Row 1: SC in 2^ndch from hook. SC to end of row (3 SC).

Row 2: Ch 1, turn. SCin same st. 3 SC in next st. SC in last st (5 SC).

Row 3: Ch 2, turn. DCin same st. Sl st in next st. 2 DC innext st. Sl st in next st. 2 DC in lastst. Bind off, leaving long tail for sewing. Weave long tail through side of foot to bottom in order to bring thetail to the correct place for sewing on the foot (and provides a smootherfinish to side of foot).

Finishing: Stuff armsand sew them to the body, one on either side. Sew ears to head, one on eitherside and feet to the bottom of the piece, leaving enough for the toes to “peek”out. Using yarn B, embroider a mouth andeyes on the head. Weave in all looseends.

Coat (this is where you should fit your coat toyour Yoda doll. If your sts are biggeror smaller, make adjustments in the following as needed for your coat to fityour Yoda doll. I found that working therows while the doll was wearing the coat helped me to make my coat an exact fitfor my doll): with C, ch 60

Row 1: DC in 2^ndch from hook. DC in each st (57 DC)

Row 2: ch 2 turn(counts as 1^st DC here and throughout), DC in each st (57 DC)

Row 3: ch 2 turn, DCin next 12 st, HDC, sl st in next 4 st, HDC, DC in next 19 st, HDC, sl st innext 4, HDC, DC in next 13 st

Row 4: ch 2 turn, DCin next 12 st, ch 5, DC in st after 2^nd HDC st from previous row, DCin next 20, ch 5, DC in 4^th HDC st from previous row, DC 12 (47 DCsts, 10 ch sts)

Row 5: ch 2 turn, DCin next 12 st, 5 DC in ch 5 space, DC in next 21 st, 5 DC in ch 5 space, DC innext 13 st (57 sts)

Row 6: ch 2 turn, DCin every st (57 st)

Row 7 (beginning toshape shoulders): ch 2 turn, DC 2tog, DC in next 49 st, DC 2tog, Dc in next st(55 st)

Row 8: ch 2 turn, DC2tog, DC in next st, DC 2tog, DC in next 3 st, DC 2tog, DC in next 7, DC 2tog,DC in next 3 st, DC 2 tog, DC in next 3 st, DC 2 tog, DC in next 3 st, DC 2tog, DC in next 7 st, DC 2 tog, DC in next 3 st, DC 2 tog, DC in next st, DC2tog, DC in next st (47 st)

Row 9: ch 2 turn, DC2tog, DC 2tog, DC in next st, DC 2tog, DC in next 6 st, DC 2tog, DC in next 2st, DC 2tog, DC in next 2 st, DC 2tog, DC in next 2 st, DC 2tog, DC in next 6st, DC 2tog, DC in next 2 st, DC 2tog, DC 2tog, DC in next st (33 st)

Row 10 (beginning toshape hood): ch 2 turn, DC 2tog in back loop, DC in back loops of next 28 St,DC 2tog in back loop, DC in back loop ofnext st (32 st)

Row 11: ch 2 turn, DCin next 31 st (32 st)

Row 12: ch 2 turn, DCin next 13 st, 2 DC in next st, Dc in in next 2 st, 2 DC in next st, DC in next14 st (34 st)

Row 13: ch 2 turn, DC2tog, DC in next 11 st, 2 DC in next st, DC in next 4 st, 2 DC in next st, DCin next 11 st, DC 2tog, DC in last st (34 st)

Row 14: ch 2 turn, DC2tog, DC in next 28 st, DC 2tog, DC in next st (32 st)

Row 15: ch 2 turn, DC2tog, DC in next 10 st, DC 2tog, DC in next 3 st, DC 2tog, DC in next 9 st, DC2tog, DC in next st (28 st)

Row 16 & 17: ch 2turn, *DC 2tog, DC in next st* (rep from * to end) (19 st for row 16, 13 st forrow 17)

Row 18: ch 2 turn, DC2tog, DC in next st, *DC 2tog* (rep 3 times) DC in last st (8 st)

Row 19: ch 2 turn, DC2tog 3 times, sl st in last st in row (5 st) Bind off.

Join yarn at bottomright corner and SC around edge of front and hood (** note I did not SC aroundbottom of coat, but you can if you’d like to keep the edging consistent) weavein ends

Belt: with B, ch 81.

Row 1: sl in 2^ndch from hook, sl st to end of ch (80st) bind off & weave in ends.

Word in Worship II

2011-09-03T20:44:00.000-07:00

So, it's taken me a while to decide what to address next about the words used in worship. I've finally agreed with myself that writing about Issac Watts' hymn, "When I Survey the Wondrous Cross" would be the best way to go. The more I learn think about the words Watts chose and how he put them together, the more I'm blown away by his sheer brilliance.

Each of the three verses are one sentence, divided into four clauses. Each sentence contains only one independent clause (one phrase that can stand on its own as a complete sentence). The first verse sets up the main point in such a way as to make the point of the rest of the song clear. Three of the four clauses in the first verse contain (or allude to) a first person subject ("when I survey the wondrous cross.... my richest gains I count but lost and pour contempt on all my pride"). Only the second clause contains a third person subject; only the second clause is parenthetical (not necessary to the completion of the sentence); only the second clause contains a preposition: "on which the prince of glory died". By doing this, Watts pulls this thought out from the rest of the verse, making this clause the most important, the most noticeable. The point: identifying that "the prince of glory" is the key to the whole song.

On to the second verse. Here, Watts deviates a little by not including a clear subject. He opens this verse with the command "see", but with no clear subject at whom this is aimed. Is he talking to himself or to his audience? Who knows. I think Watts did this on purpose to divert attention from a speaker (or us as the singers) and make the focus on picture we should see at the cross: Jesus dying for our sins. Whatever his reasons, the result is effective; one looks now fully at the cross with no sense of self or a speaker intruding. But what do we see in this picture? "See how his head, his hands, his feet". To whom does "his" refer here? The only third person male mentioned so far is "the prince of glory". Thus we can assume that we are now looking, not at the cross, but at the one who died upon it. Watts furthers this point by choosing some interesting, repeated, terms: Sorrow and Love (both capitalized in the text). "Sorrow and Love flow mingled down. Did e're such Love and Sorrow meet". By repeating these terms, Watts reminds us of two key points attributed to Jesus: the Man of Sorrows (Isaiah 53:3) and that "God is love" (I John 4:8). By reiterating these two names in conjunction with the possessive "his" Watts is clearly connecting the view of the cross with the aforementioned "prince of glory" thus solidifying the main subject of the whole hymn: Jesus' death.

In the third and final verse, Watts returns the focus from the view of Jesus' death to the speaker by again using first person pronouns. Instead of using first person pronouns as subjects, he uses "Love" from the second verse (attributed as stated in the previous paragraph both as an action and a characteristic of "the prince of glory") as the subject for the final two clauses: "Love so amazing, so divine, demands my life my soul, my all". Here, Watts moves away from the picture of the cross to the response that it (should) elicit in us: awestruck repentance. The view of Jesus dying should remind us of what he paid for our sins; and should drive home the point that there is nothing I can do or give to repay him. But all that I am is now his.

The point of all this is pretty simple: the hymn is not about the cross, but about the one who died upon it. The cross is an object, never a subject, in the hymn. The subject is Jesus' love, sorrow, and sacrifice.

Words and Worship Part I

2011-07-04T17:49:00.000-07:00

So, first, sorry about the long delay in posts. A combination of family, graduate school, and work keeps me pretty tied up! However, I've been meaning to write a post about this topic for a long, long time. The end result is that I have way too much to say for one post, which means I'll probably be write a few blogs about this topic. For those who haven't figured it out yet, I have a small love affair with words and that is what the topic of this blog will be about: how we use our words in the worship of Christ.

For those who would argue that words are not important, I will make a few, brief, points before I begin:

James warns us about controlling our tongue (what we say, our words), as our words are insight to our hearts (James 3:1-12)
God spoke the world into existence; everything in creation was originally spoken (with the exception of people, who were formed) (Genesis 1)
Jesus is called the Word (John 1:1)

The point being that words, and how we use them and what we say, are vastly important to our worship and our lives. Therefore, in this episode of Words and Worship, let's consider Madeline L'Engle's point that as our vocabulary decreases so does our intelligence (Walking on Water, 1995). I have to agree with her in general, and, as an application of this point in our worship, will use the example of the beautiful old hymn, "Come Thou Fount". (For those unfamiliar with the song, I suggest you look it up: http://www.hymnsite.com/lyrics/umh400.sht).

My point lies in the second verse of the hymn. Traditionally, the second verse begins "here I raise my Ebenezer, hither by thy help I'm come. And I hope by thy good pleasure safely to arrive at home". I've noticed, recently, in most churches, the second verse has been changed to "here I raise to thee an alter", thus eliminating the reference to Ebenezer all together.

To those well meaning, but poorly educated souls who thought this change was a brilliant idea, I say, look it up: 1 Samuel 7 (specifically verse 12). To give the story of Ebenezer in brief: the Israelites had gathered at Mizpah, under the direction of their leader, Samuel, to make sacrifices and repent of their sins before God. While they were there, practically unarmed and defenseless, their enemies, the Philistines, decided that would be an excellent time to attack and destroy the nation of Israel. Naturally, when the people of Israel got wind of the impending attack, they were upset. They cried out to Samuel, who cried out to God. God led the Israelites in a resounding victory. The end result being that Samuel set up a large and called it Ebenezer, meaning stone of help, saying that the Lord was their help. Ebenezer served as a type of monument to a time when God saved His people from certain destruction.

The point being that 1. Ebenezer is not an alter (seriously, what do Christians, living under the new covenant, need an alter for anyway; wasn't Jesus' sacrifice enough?); and 2. Ebenezer means more than just a place of worship. It is a place of remembrance.

The point, then, of the second verse in the song isn't about sacrifice, it's about remembering the saving power of Christ. It is about being at a point in one's life when there was no other option but to cry out to God for help, and God hearing, and God saving from certain destruction. That is the meaning of the second verse. But in removing all reference to Ebenezer, we remove that story, that point, from the verse and completely change (for the worse I think, see the point above about Christ's sacrifice negating the need for an alter) the intent. When singing this song then, the goal is to make us remember when the Lord was our help. The point is to worship God because we remember the point (or points) in our lives when we needed Him most, and what he has done to save us.

That brings us back to the reasoning behind the change in the second verse. Some well meaning person thought to make the hymn more approachable by "modernizing" the second verse (and possibly because "Ebenezer" and "pleasure" is really bad half rhyme). Let's face it, how many people really know what Ebenezer means without reading the story? I remember singing this song in church as a young girl, and wondering what it meant to "raise my Ebenezer". Being me, I went home and looked it up in the encyclopedia (yes, I am a nerd). Which lead me back to the Old Testament story in 1 Samuel 7 and to the realizations listed above. Not many people know what Ebenezer is without being told the story. However, that should not deter us from looking up the story. If we don't teach others about it, how will they learn, and how will we remember it? The point then, is not to forget the story, rather to teach it to others. How about, instead of changing the words of the hymn, we tell the story of how the Lord saved his people before singing the song?

So, the next time you sing this song, loudly sing the original words of the second verse and remember when you were at a point in your life where you needed God's saving grace, where nothing but God's love could deliver you, and raise an Ebenezer in your heart as a monument to His unfailing love.

Gweli i chi
Amy

P.s. for another fascinating reference of this story, Mizpah, the area in question, was originally created and named by Jacob and Laban. It means "May the Lord keep watch between you and me" (Genesis 31:38-39)

Robyn Update

2010-07-14T16:57:00.000-07:00

I cannot believe Robyn is almost a year old! She is doing so many new and fun things:
1. Her current favorite game is called "boom." She stands on the bed and throws her self forward onto a pillow yelling "boo" (meaning "boom").
2. She's figured out how to climb the stairs and so loves chasing the poor cat up the stairs and into one of the bedrooms. Fortunately for Pepper, Robyn often gets sidetracked by the bookshelf at the top of the stairs and starts pulling books from the shelf instead of fur from Pepper.
2. Robyn loves to play "chase" which is a combination of peek-a-boo and being chased. This usually consists of her peeking at me from around one side of the ottoman and then crawling away as fast as her little bottom can move. That is my cue to run after her, pick her up, and blow raspberries on her tummy. This is her second favorite game.
3. She has added so many new words! She says kitty cat, book, bunny, boom, doggy, and duck. Naturally she doesn't quite have the enunciation down (book and bunny both sound like "ba" but she points to the book or the bunny so we know what she's talking about). She also says "hi-ya." Quite loudly too.
4. Puffs are her favorite food. She will eat them at any time of the day. If she sees the container, she points at it cries "ooh!" and makes the sign for "more." Even if she's already eaten her fill of other food, she still finds room for puffs!
5. She's discovered the power of pointing and saying "ooh!" We made the mistake of taking her into Toys 'R Us one day for a quick diaper run; we ended up buying quite a few toys for her because she kept pointing at them... it was too cute!
6. Robyn loves to swim: she loves water, she loves her bathing suit.
7. When Mark makes her fly around the house, she makes airplane noises.
8. She is so close to walking: she stands up on her own and cruises the furniture (she's been doing this for about three months now), but she just won't take a step without help.

Well, that's about all that's new with Robyn. She is such a fun little person! She is very independent and gets so excited about everything!

Gweli i chi
Amy

Procrastination

2010-07-10T18:17:00.000-07:00

I forgot how evil homework is. I love learning; I love reading. One would assume that putting the two together would make grad school super enjoyable. Sadly, that is not the case. I have quite a lot to read in less than a week... which is why I'm blogging instead of reading.

Seriously, grad school is a great boost to my blog: the more I have to do, the less I want to do it; thus the more time I find to spend elsewhere.

To my (two) followers, you're welcome. My professors would be happy to know that my work is sub par because I'd rather blog than read a 3000+ word poem in Middle English :-)

Eating octopus

2010-07-09T20:39:00.000-07:00

My parents have a teacher from Spain staying with them for a few weeks; he's here with a tour group that is somehow partnered with the school where my mom teaches (I'm not really quite sure of the how or why here...). We've been having lots of fun dragging him around to all the "fun" things to do in Davenport (not much... we have a bridge that goes to nowhere...). Today, he decided to cook an octopus for our dinner to say thanks.

Normally, I'm all up for trying any type of food once. And I love calamari, so the octopus itself was not a big deal. It tasted great. What grossed me out was seeing it as it looked before it had died, and seeing the little suction cups on the cut up tentacles, and watching Mark slurp a smaller tentacles like a spaghetti noddle....

Its things like this that make me wonder why I'm not a vegetarian... and then I realize that I love steak and am not so fond of vegetables, which would be the answer.

Boasting in my weakness

2010-07-06T09:54:00.000-07:00

So I've been doing a Bible study on trials through the Women's ministry in our church this summer. All I can say is Wow. It's deep, emotional and intense. Great stuff! I'm really connecting with more women in my church (yay!) and learning more about drawing closer to God though my trials.

One thing talked about today was sharing what God did for us through our trials so that we can glorify Him. It is through our weakness that He shows His strength and His goodness. In other words, boast about my weakness for God's glory. In general, I tend to keep my problems low key. I don't share my struggles with many people, because, well, it's personal. But I think that there are somethings that have happened in my life that I need to "boast" about so that others can see the amazing things that He has, and is continuing to do.

The most recent trial for me started in January 2008. Mark and I reached the all important decision in a marriage: we were ready for kids. So we started trying. Things were OK for a while. I went to the doctor for a routine check up in August 2008. It was a new doctor, so we chatted a bit about my health history and that Mark and I were trying for a baby. A few things I said made her go "hmmmm...." the end result was that she ran a series of tests on me. By August 15th, I was diagnosed with Polycisitic Ovarian Syndrom (PCOS). This diagnosis meant a slew of future health problems, including a greater risk for ovarian cancer and heart failure. However, the immediate issues were also grim: women with PCOS had difficulties getting pregnant and had a greater risk of miscarriage if they did get pregnant.

Basically, there was a fairly good chance that we would never have children.

I was heartbroken.

And angry.

Mark and I are good people. We work hard and try our best to live the "right" way. Why would something like this happen to us?

I won't go into all my anger issues at this time. They were many and rather unpleasant.

Eventually, I found myself, on my face, crying to God each night: Why?

A letter from my mom, who had gone through similar questions and issues 30 plus years before helped me see this issue in a different light. While "why" is a fair question, it isn't often answered, and even less so in a way that my slow brain can fully comprehend. For me, focusing on "why" didn't help the pain, it just hurt more.

I had to come to a place where I realized the most important fact: my question should not be "why" but "who." I thought of the possible years a head of me, facing various infertility treatments, and the consent disappointment of the negative test results each month. And I realized that I had to decide who was in control. Me or God.

Giving everything, utterly and completely over to Him was harder than words can express. But eventually I said, and truly meant "Your will, not mine." I knew full well that this might mean never having children, and I knew full well that, if that was the case, I would be content in God's grace and love.

On December 6th, 2008, I had a positive pregnancy test. I could go on about all the amazing ways Mark and I saw God work through the pregnancy, but that would take too long. It is sufficient to say that on August 11th, 2009, at 3:28 am, Robyn Grace was born. She is the most amazing blessing. She is my daily constant reminder, that God's grace is more than enough for my needs, that God is in control of every situation in my life, and that God's will, not mine, is the best possible plan for my life.

Amy

Philippians 4:4-8
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all; the Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds.

Fall

2009-11-05T07:47:00.000-08:00

I love fall. It's my favorite season: the leaves changing, the crisp, cool air... and of course the Halloween candy and Thanksgiving dinner. This fall is especially fun. Robyn went as Tigger for Halloween - she was sooooo adorable! She loved her Tigger outfit. We have a mirror in our car so when she sits in her car seat, she can look at herself. She was laughing at herself in her costume when we went out trick-or-treating. We had so much fun!

I can't believe how big she's getting! She has rolled over from her tummy to her back a few times now, beyond the twice she did for me at 7 weeks old. Now she rolls on to her side from her back. She reaches for toys, even when she's on her tummy, and she holds her head up so well! She discovered her toes a few weeks ago and will spend a good half an hour sitting on my lap looking and reaching for them. Every once and a while, she'll actually get them in her hands; she's never quite sure what to do when she catches them.

All in all, we're having fun. I knew having a baby would be great, but I never knew it would be this much fun! Every day is a new discovery for her and it's so exciting to watch her grow and change.

Gweli i chi,
Amy

Ha!

2009-10-09T07:54:00.000-07:00

All this free time as a stay-at-home mom has allowed me to blog more frequently (for me any way)! Well, actually, it isn't free time, it's not wanting to actually do the work I should do (like dust, laundry, clean the bathroom...) so I'm blogging instead... To be fair to me, I did do my actual work (grading papers and answering questions in my class) earlier this morning. So I could call blogging a break in between work...

Why is it that house work is so unappealing? I'd rather fiddle with my printer and get raving mad at technology that could work if it wanted to but is being pugnacious, just for me (how lovely of it). Take the printer this morning...We decided to do an entirely wireless home since we now have a baby... it seemed like a good idea: laptops, a wireless printer, wireless XBox Live (yes, we have an XBox, a PS2, a Wii, and two DSes... and yes, sadly, we do use them all) no wires for little baby to chew on, trip over, etc. But now the wireless printer has decided not to connect to either computer. I eventually got it working the old fashioned way (using the cable) to one laptop, but the other one won't install the software... which I thought was already installed but apparently not. I printed out stuff, but wasn't able to scan information in as it all decided it wasn't going to work any more. Why? Well, my professional opinion is that the printer is possessed and am considering an exorcism. I'm not sure that holy water would be a good idea though... water and electronics rarely mix well...

Any way, I should go dust, clean the bathroom (yuck!) and do the laundry, especially since Robyn decided to pee while being changed not once, but twice and so I have lots of pee covered clothing/diaper changing table stuff to wash...

In other Robyn news, she rolled over twice yesterday (from her stomach to her back)! I'm so proud of her! I tried videotaping it, but she decided she didn't want to perform for the camera so you just have to take my word for it.

Gweli i chi!

Amy

Hi to anyone who is still reading...

2009-10-07T08:02:00.000-07:00

.... So, I've effectively proven that I suck at keeping up with my blogging. So much has happened in the last (almost) two years... We had a baby, I quit my job to stay home with aforementioned baby, and Mark started grad school, we've done lots of projects on the house (new kitchen, windows, and siding).

Well, that's about it.

I'll leave you with pics of Robyn Grace, who was born August 11, 2009 at 3:28 AM. She weighed 7 lbs and 14 oz (she weighs much more than that now...)

Gwela i chi!

Amy

Just when I thought things couldn't get more complicated

2007-11-15T08:44:00.000-08:00

Well,
I know it's been a long time (sorry Anne, I didn't post every day this month... oops) so I'll try to catch you (all, if more than one person still reads this thing..) up. Mark and I put an offer in on a house last week. It's great! I'm so excited, our first house!!! We were really excited because Iowa has this great first time home buyer's initiative, they give you a really good interest rate, and a grant to pay for your closing costs. How cool is that? So we are technically closing on Dec. 12th. That's great, not too complicated... But wait. There's more.

As you (all) know, I've been working on grad school (by the way, up is a modal verb for anyone who cares...) and going slightly crazy. Just to give you an idea... I have 3,000 word essay that I'm working on right now, but my last homework assignment was picking out morphemes in other languages. To put it simply, I was given some examples in random languages (Persian, Turkish, and a Native American language Isleta which I have never heard of before) and told to basically write some translations. At first I was a little freaked out, but after completing the homework, I feel really smart. Anyway, that was a long side note... the whole point being that I wanted to concentrate on grad school since it is so difficult and I'm not half as smart as I think I am and about 1/4th as smart as everyone else thinks I am... But I got a job offer I couldn't refuse. So I accepted a position at a university up here editing papers. I'm sure it will be as exciting as it sounds, but it pays well, is in my field and would look good on a resume when I get my MA and PhD and go into teaching... however, this is where it gets complicated...

The Iowa first home buyer's initiative is only good up to a certain income level. My salary puts us over that level... which means that our interest rate will go up .25% and we have to pay closing costs. And buy a car. And pay our bills. And purchase gas for a 45 min one way drive for me. And, as we all know, when one starts a new job, one does not get paid right away, so we are doing all of this on Mark's salary... and it is going to be squishy. Very squishy. And then we have Christmas. So I have 3 options: 1. ask if the new job will move my start date 3.5 weeks later (probably not feasible) 2. quit new job before I start (also probably not feasible, or nice, or good work ethics, or good for my rep, or good for our finances....) 3. suck it up and hope we make it though Dec. I'm thinking 3 is the best option. Although, I suppose there are worse things that could have happened (i.e. no job for me OR Mark, no house, etc.) Being an adult is complicated. Ah well, we do have a house, we do both have jobs and, it will be fine after Dec....

Homework

2007-10-10T06:22:00.000-07:00

HELP! I'm slowly drowing in a sea of homework. I'm so confused! I'm overanalyzing EVERYTHING. Do you know, I spent almost 3 hours debating if "up" was a verb, adverb or adjective in the sentance "You're pushing it up."? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm still not quite sure. I'm thinking adverb as it describes more of the action (pushing), but then my husband said, "no, it's a verb" which if it is, it's not the main verb and is either auxilary or modal. I think it's modal. Maybe that's it. Maybe it's a modal verb...
(Whimper.)

I do, however, know that the semantic role of "up" in the afore mentioned sentence would be the goal (intended destination)... or location (place of action)? No. It's definately the goal.

HELP. I have lexicology on the brain AND IT WON'T STOP!!!!!!

The day after...

2007-10-09T10:51:00.000-07:00

Well, we had an interesting time yesterday. Houses in our price range are... interesting...
Mark and I are discussing what we liked and didn't like about the 3 houses we saw yesterday. I can't stand the one he would like to buy and he is not comfortable with the one I liked. I'll describe the houses and see what Anne, I mean my reader(s) think.
House 1: small (925 square feet) brick square house with 2 bedrooms, 1 bath and a walk-out basement. Has almost .5 acres yard space, in a quiet neighborhood, on the corner lot. On one side is a nicely kept-up house, on the other, a deep ravine. It needs a lot of help, but has good bones and room to expand without loosing too much yard.
House 2: small (700+ square feet) ranch house with 2 bedrooms, one bath and a large laundry room. The yard is a nice size but you can see all your neighbors, and your driveway is almost shared with your next door neighbor. It has no basement, no space to properly expand without major renovations and possibly adding on, taking up valuable yard space.
Can you guess which one is my choice?

Oh Well

2007-10-08T10:26:00.001-07:00

I was planning on trying to blog everyday for a month, but I guess I broke that chain. Oh well. Life will continue. Maybe a sadder, duller life, but it will continue...

Any way... I'm really excited!! Mark and I are going to look at houses!!!!! Yeah! We are considering a few options, none of them horribly expensive, or large (we really can't afford large/expensive on Mark's salary... I suppose that's the curse of being a teacher, lots of work and no pay...) but small and quaint and in good neighborhoods. We could afford large houses in bad neighborhoods, however, I'd prefer to be squished yet safe. We're still debating if we want to buy a house now, or wait a bit. We just moved here, but I think we're going to stay for a while. Well, we'll know more after looking at houses I'm sure. If we wanted to wait a year, we could to save up money, but I'm not sure how long I can take the basement. It's cold. Very cold. And it's only going to get worse in the winter. But mom and dad are great. We actually don't see them alot.

Well, I still have homework that is screaming to me "Finish me!!!" so I'd better go.
Bye!

HA!

2007-10-03T10:08:00.000-07:00

That's right! This is the third post in as many days. And I really can't think of much else to say. I mean, I'm really just typing to have more than 2 sentences in my blog for today. My life is actually really boring right now. I read and do my homework. My head is so full of linguistic stuff, such as lexical words, pragmatics, syntax, split infinitives, prepositional phrases, phonemes, morphemes..... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! I can't think!!! Education is taking over my brain.... must... strive... for... sanity!!!!!

You know, the sad thing is, I'm re-reading this for editorial purposes and picking out the noun phrases, verb phrases, and realizing that when I write like I speak, I have extremely poor grammar.

Grad school is killing me.

I'm on a roll!

2007-10-02T11:45:00.000-07:00

Hey, this is my second post in 2 days! I'm on a roll. Possibly. I think I've already beaten my record for the most amount of posts per day... which isn't saying much...

Well, for those of you who care, I've officially changed my last name. That's right. After 4 and a half years of marriage, I decided it was time to finally take my husband's last name. Yeah. I am so on top of things.

Well, I have homework from my grad classes, so I can't stay on here and write nonsense all day. I have professors who need me to write nonsense for their entertainment as well.

Bye!

So... It's been a while...

2007-10-01T07:33:00.000-07:00

Sorry about that to my one reader (thanks mom!) or maybe I had three.... (mom-in-law, and 2 very cool sisters-in-law) I'm not really sure...
Anyway, for anyone who still reads this, thanks.

Well, lots of fun things have happened in the last year since I posted...
Mark, my wonderful husband, got a job in Davenport, Iowa. So in less than one week, we packed everything, quit our jobs (I'd wipe a tear, but I wasn't fond of that job anyway...) and moved from Fort Myers Florida to Iowa. And I'm COLD!!!!!
We've been in Iowa about 5 weeks now, and I'm freezing my little buns off. We've had the electric blanket on every night and we usually have a space heater running during the day. The sad thing is, it's only JUST October. I have no idea what we're going to do in the winter when the real cold hits.
Oh, here's the other fun tidbit of information. We currently are living in my parents' basement. While things are going well, and probably will stay that way, I can imagine all sorts of humorous possibilities waiting to happen...

It has been quite a change, but I know this will work out well for both Mark and I. He is in a fairly good school district. It's amazing that there are administrators and districts out there that care about the TEACHERS. I'm blown away. We're so used to hearing "deal with it yourself" that having a support group behind Mark is a bit strange. It's like they want him to succeed as a teacher! What a concept!

For those of you wondering what I'm doing while Mark is playing at school... no, I'm not sleeping in and laying on the couch every day (just 2 or 3 out of the week...) I'm actually enrolled in graduate school at the University of Nottingham (yes, as in the Sheriff of, and England. No, I'm not moving there, it's all on line). And as a side note, Nottingham was ranked number 74 out of the top 100 universities in the world by Newsweek this past summer. Yeah! I'm going to a smart school! I'm learning lots of new stuff and maybe, just maybe, my grammar will improve!

Well, speaking of school, I'd better go learn, and stuff. To all my Florida friends, I miss you. Come visit. Davenport is pretty cool (pun not intended). To the three or four people who may or may not read this thing, hey!
love you all!

A Belated Thanksgiving

2006-11-29T17:00:00.000-08:00

I apologize for my negligence in not posting a Thanksgiving blog. To the two of you who read this, I am deeply sorry. I know how much it must have pained you.

Mark and I went to spend Thanksgiving with Grandma in Bradenton, FL. Her condo association was hosting a Thanksgiving feast, which was fun, considering that Mark and I were the only people under the age of 70. Grandma signed up to make the mashed potatoes. If I have to peel one more potato, I will scream. I'm sure Grandma feels the same way. But really, in all seriousness, it was a good time. Except for the one older gentleman who didn't sign up and was turned away by the lady in charge. After he left, and Mark and I realized that the lady in charge had turned him away on Thanksgiving, Mark went to go find him and bring him back as our guest, but we never saw him again. I hope, despite her rudeness, that he was able to enjoy the holiday...

Now, I know that most people went shopping on black Friday, but my Grandma likes to defy convention. So she took us parasailing. Did I mention that I'm scared of heights? It was fun though. I'll never do it again, but it was definitely worth the one time. Needless to say that we had a fun, enjoyable time with Grandma. And we got to drive in the new car. Yeah. It was good.

That's right. This is me. Hanging from a parachute. Above the Gulf of Mexico. It was very, very high. One might even say Exceedingly high. Yeah. I was very, very scared. One might even say exceedingly scared. Note the hesitant smile and the inability to let go of the straps.

And this is Mark. Hanging from the same parachute. Note the complete lack of fear.

And that is what we did over our long weekend.

It's a little late to wish you all a happy Thanksgiving, so happy Christmas season everyone! THREE MORE WEEKS UNTIL CHRISTMAS BREAK!!!! YIPEE!!!!!!! (for those of us who work in schools....)

The Newest Addition to Our Family

2006-11-20T16:11:00.000-08:00

Meet the newest addition to our family: Tabbitha (for right now... we're still deciding on the name). This is the first brand spanking new car that we've ever owned. It's a 2006 Mitsubishi Lancer. And it's beautiful!

Mark took this picture on our first road trip with the new car. I've never owned a car with less than 50,000 miles! This is so exciting!!!

Taking a Day Off

2006-11-16T18:33:00.000-08:00

I love personal days! Tomorrow is one of three personal days that I have taken off so far this year (that probably isn't good to say, but hey, we all know how I feel about my job). I'm rather excited as we are going to purchase a new car. And it's brand spanking new. No previous owners and built in this millennium! How amazing is that? It will also be our first car with a CD player. Yeah. We're a little behind the times. Just a little.

We are also going to a place called the River House for a relaxing weekend with our Church. Yep. All 20 of us (or are we up to 30 now?) are going. It will be excessively fun/exciting/relaxing. I'm looking forward to the hammock on the porch. Although, it is supposed to be cold this weekend. Our highs will only be in the low 70's. That's practically freezing. Maybe I'll take along my winter coat...

But I think that the best thing ever was that today was like Friday for me. I have spent most of my working life waking up every morning saying "woo-hoo! It's Friday!" even if it isn't (which is especially depressing on Monday). It got so bad, that I used to tell people "happy Friday", on Thursdays... But today, today was a Thursday that was a Friday. It is beautiful. May I just say, that I'm a big fan of the three day work week?

To my devoted reader(s): have a lovely, wonderful and relaxing weekend. Happy Friday!

Fun Fact

2006-11-14T14:56:00.000-08:00

Yep. That's right. This is a picture of me. Firing a gun. And, the amazing part is that I actually hit the target.

For those of you who don't know me well, I am not, shall we say, well coordinated. I have a habit of hurting myself when using such dangerous utensils as kitchen knives and sewing machines. Yes. I have sewn my finger to a pair of shorts that I was making. So it is amazing that people trusted me with a gun.

The gun range was very fun. I thought I was going to hate it, and that I would completely miss the target. I actually did very well, and, excepting for nearly wetting myself when I first shot the gun, enjoyed it. And don't worry, mom, this doesn't mean that I'm going to turn into a gun maniac and start collecting them. I still don't want a gun in my house. But the gun range is a good way to unwind after a stressful week of work.

OK, so working in an elementary school has it's advantages...

2006-11-13T15:35:00.000-08:00

For the most part, I detest my job. But there are always those little bright spots to my day that almost, I say almost, make it worthwhile. Today had one of those spots.

One of the ladies I work with has twin sons in first grade. They are the cutest, most well behaved children I have ever met. Every morning they walk past my office and say "good morning Miss Amy. How are you today?" I say I am well and ask how they are and they respond "fine." It's really very cute. But today, one of them went above and beyond cute, he is absolutely adorable.

All last week I was very sick. I could hardly talk, but being the brilliant person that I am, I still went to work. On Wednesday, this one boy asked me what was wrong with my voice as I sounded remotely like a frog. I said I wasn't feeling well. So he asked me if I had a heart attack.

Fortunately, I was well enough to have a few girls from work over on Saturday to do a Mary Kay pampering party. This boy's mom was one of the women who came. The boy wanted to come too, but his mom said that it was just for grown up women and they wanted to make sure that I was better. So this morning, as I'm drinking my coffee and talking with some teachers, this lady comes up to me and says that her son would like to give me something that he made for me while she was at my party. The little guy comes into the room and hands me an envelope with Power Ranger heart stickers and two petals from his mom's flower garden. Inside was a rubbery bracelet about asthma and two keys to the sprinkler system at his house. It was simply adorable. He wanted to make sure that I was better. How cute is that?

Why Education in Florida Sucks

2006-11-10T15:53:00.000-08:00

It's the FCAT. That's right. A test. For those of you non-Floridians, the schools in Florida receive a letter grade each year based upon the results of the FCAT. That's right. One test "determines" how well a school does. The result? The teachers are pressured into teaching to the test. You may ask: why does that suck? I'll tell you: 5th graders are JUST NOW (that's right IN THE SECOND QUARTER OF THE YEAR) learning HOW TO DIVIDE SINGLE DIGIT NUMBERS. They just finished "reviewing" multiplication. Is it just me or is that sad? I'm not the brightest crayon in the box, but I knew how to do long division, not just single digit division, in 4th grade. These kids are two years behind where they need to be in math. Why? Because division wasn't on the 3rd and 4th grade FCAT tests, so they didn't learn it.

And that's just half of it! These kids don't know how to write. They can't spell, they don't know grammar. Why? Because there are only 2 years, that's right, 2 years where they have a writing portion on the FCAT test: 4th and 8th grade. Those are the only years that writing is taught. Why, because only reading and math are tested every year. That's only 2 out of 5 core subjects (reading, math, social studies, science and language arts) taught each year.

So Florida is passing children on to higher grades because they passed a standardized test that may, or may not, have accurately gauged the child's intelligence level. And the schools are graded on this ONE TEST.

Now, I have nothing against grading schools. I think it is wise to keep the educators, administrators and districts honest in their teachings. It's a good way for teachers to know what is and is not working in the classroom. It's a good way for administrators to know what is and is not working in the school policies and procedures. My problem with Florida is that it all hinges on ONE TEST.

During the recent race for governor down here, one of the candidates said that if we are not afraid to grade our children, we shouldn't be afraid to grade our schools. But I ask you, my devoted reader(s), what teacher passes or fails a student based on ONE TEST? That is asinine. To truly ascertain what a child does and does not know, the teacher gives them multiple forms of assignments, tests and quizzes. Some kids really know the subject matter but always fail on tests. Why? Because they just take tests badly. Other kids are just really good guessers and don't know a thing about division but on a multiple choice test will more often then not guess the right answer. So why do we grade our schools on ONE TEST? Is it because we're just lazy and want to make this whole school grading thing simple? I have no idea. But this is one very good reason why teachers are leaving Florida. I mean seriously, who wants to teach to a test? The children aren't learning anything. They are not receiving the life skills they need: like addition, subtraction, multiplication and division; or how to grammatically structure a sentence; or how to spell.

People wonder why we're so far behind the rest of the world in education. I'll tell you. We grade our teachers' effectiveness on one test that is about 2 years behind where the kids need to be in only two out of five core knowledge areas and ignore the rest of their education. We focus on making everyone pass instead of making everyone learn. Education has ceased to be about knowledge and has become nothing more than a score; a meaningless number that is wiped out in a year.

The Lovely Thing about Living in Florida...

2006-08-07T16:58:00.000-07:00

I have complained so much about my life down here, I thought I'd show my devoted reader(s) some nice things about life in Florida. Yes, all of these things are with in a 10 minute drive of my apartment. There are some definite perks to living down here.

OK, So I promised myself I wouldn't do this but...

2006-08-04T18:05:00.000-07:00

I just have to vent! I know I've whined a lot, and I mean a lot, about my job. And yes, it is that bad, but I'm trying to be happy about it. And I'm just trying to get my work done. BUT, it seems my corporate offices are out to make sure that I don't have anything done by the time school opens. Which, by the way is TUESDAY. Did I mention that, thanks to a mandate from money hungry corporate, I'm still enrolling students?

Any way, that's not the real reason for this blog. The real reason is that some brilliant (and this term is used with excessive amounts of sarcasm) person at corporate (I think it was our CEO, which would explain a lot, really...) decided that today was a mandatory gathering of all our schools in Florida. Which means that A. I had to get up at 4:30 am to be on a bus by 6:00 am (which got lost on the way to our school and didn't show up until 6:30 am) and B. I lost an ENTIRE day of work. That means I couldn't call parents to offer seats to fill my classes. I couldn't enroll students. I couldn't enter in important information in EITHER of my systems (that's right. I enter in THE SAME INFORMATION TWICE. Once for me and once for the district. And yes, there is a software that my district uses which allows me to directly download all my information at once. But no, corporate won't hear of using it, that would be too easy). Which of course translates into me being at work, on Saturday, to do what I could have done today.

But really, I could get over a 12.5 hour day of work, and I could get over losing a day of work, if the meeting had been worth it. Let me back up. Our first guest speaker was worth it. Dr. Harry Wong had some wonderful things to tell the teachers. One small problem. I'm not a teacher. I'm a registrar. I know the first day of school is important, and I will spend it in my office fixing schedules and adding students. But after Dr. Wong, everything went down hill. It was so boring and so pointless that my table decided to build a table decorations sculpture. Our theme was "building our future" so we had a toy truck on our table with some plastic hard hats and toy tools. So we rolled the truck around the table (making the "vroom! vroom!" noise as we moved it) and every one had to add one thing as they got it. I should see if I can get my principal to email me the picture for your viewing pleasure. I have never laughed so much at conference. It was the coolest. But, seriously, I just wasted a day of my life to be bored and play with plastic trucks.

I suppose this day wouldn't have been so terrible to endure or so agonizing if I wasn't already rather upset at my school/company. I found out quite a few things this week that, as my husband is a teacher at my school, affect me personally.

Thing 1: normally all teachers receive $150 from the school to buy decorations and classroom supplies. With this knowledge, my husband, who will be teaching science for the first time (in a lab with no equipment mind you) spent $300 of our personal money to purchase equipment for his science class, thinking that he would be reimbursed. But no. Our new principal got her figures mixed up (which would have been ok, except for what follows...) and told the new teachers that they get $175. Instead of retracting her statement and correcting the figure, she told the returning teachers they will not be reimbursed. So we just spent $150 more than what we were anticipating and Mark still needs items for his classroom and for his science projects. And when Mark talked to the principal and told her that he didn't get reimbursed for anything last year as he started November 1st so could he please get some assistance, even $75, the principal said no. It wasn't in the budget.

Thing 2: Mark spent all summer creating a curriculum that incorporated the book he thought he was going to have in his classroom, only to find that the book he was told he would be using was incorrect. They will be using the books from last year, which are horrible, nonsense books, not to mention that there is no teacher manual and the books haven't actually arrived yet. So he wasted a whole summer.

Thing 3: The new, fresh out of college teachers are making more money than the returning teachers, by a good $2,000. That's right. We had to move ourselves down here in three weeks, pay for it ourselves (mainly with the generous donations of family members, thanks guys!) and get paid less than the district. And, in thanks for all Mark's hard work last year, he got a 2% raise. That's right. He's making $174 more this year, which, when you figure in all that he had to pay for his classroom supplies which we weren't planning on, he will be making $24 more this year. But since he got a $500 bonus at the end of last year, he's really making $476 less this year (for those of you who don't follow my mathematical logic, we take the $174 raise, subtract the $150 we weren't planning on having to spend on classroom supplies, leaving us with a profit of $24. Then we take the $500 bonus from last year, subtract the $24 extra from this year and we are in the hole $476).

All this makes me wonder, why are we still here? Yeah, school starts on Tuesday, but it's rather obvious to me that our school isn't concerned about it's teachers. I mean, our corporate just spent thousands of dollars paying THREE guest speakers, renting out TWO ballrooms at a fancy resort near Miami and renting charter busses for all our schools (approx. 15 in all) PLUS feeding us breakfast and lunch, one would think they could afford a little help for underpaid struggling teachers, at least give them money for the classrooms. But they don't, instead they waste money on pointless conferences, and telling us that kids are their priority after I was just told, by corporate mind you, that our priority was to stuff our classrooms as full as possible to get more money. And after Mark was told, at a pointless teacher meeting, that teachers don't have to be concerned with catering to individual kids, because our top notch (again, excessive sarcasm) research team has found the data driven code that will prove to be more effective than paying attention to your students. So I ask myself again, why am I still here? And you know what? I don't know. The only somewhat reasonable explanation is that it would look bad on my resume to say that I really only worked at this job for 6 months. Which isn't exactly motivational, especially when I wake up tomorrow morning and go to work, on a Saturday.

Wagner's the Coolest

2006-07-31T17:01:00.000-07:00

So I rented Das Rheingold, the first in Wagner's Der Ring des Nibelungen series. For those of you poor shmucks who are not familiar with Wagner's work, I shall take a moment to enlighten you.

Wagner was the coolest composer EVER (ok, so I may be a little biased because he wrote some amazing horn parts...). Der Ring des Nibelungen is what I consider to be Wagner's opus. It is actually 4 operas all revolving around some magical gold that lies deep in the Rhein River (hence the term Rheingold). Legend has it that only the man who renounces love can forge the gold into a ring, which would allow him to rule the entire world. Needless to say, the gold is stolen in the first opera and forged into a ring and it takes the Norse gods and the heroes they send three more operas before they return the gold to the Rheinmaidens to whom it belonged.

Sound familiar? That's right, Der Ring des Nibelungen operas inspired both Tolkien and Lewis in their writings. In fact, Lewis credits Wagner's music for introducing him to Norse mythology which later formed a basis for both his and Tolkien's writings. And let's face it, there is no escaping the whole idea of a One Ring to rule the world. Or the fact that the ring is stolen from it's original master when his finger is cut off...

The version of the opera that I watched was very, very good (it can be found on netflix). For being produced in 1980, it was well done. I must admit, though, that it was a little hard to wrap my mind around the costuming: I would never have put the Norse gods in fashions from the 1800's. Come on guys! Seriously, it's hard to picture Woton as king of the gods when he has poofy hair and wears frilly shirts. He wasn't so much a masterful figure as he was a dandy. And don't even get me started about Thor! His hammer looked like it came from a Bob the Builder play set. However, the music, the acting, the over all production was superb. It was just the costumes that got me.

Anyway, that's why Wagner is the coolest and I can't wait for Die Walkure to come in the mail! This is so exciting!! I haven't seen an opera in about a year. DVD's aren't really the same as seeing the real thing, but hey, right now, it's all I can get. Can you believe that Fort Myers doesn't have an operatic society? How lame is that?

The Love of My Life

2006-07-26T17:31:00.000-07:00

That's right, here is my wonderful, amazing husband after his first attempt at water skiing. He's so versatile! Love you lots honey!

Captain Kirk vs. Darth Vader

2006-07-23T10:33:00.000-07:00

Personally, I vote for Darth Vader. He had the Force and all that, plus an uber amount of midi-clorians (I really don't thing I spelled that right) so he was more powerful than any other Force-controlling being... And, I happen to like Star Wars better than Star Trek. Sorry Brenda!

Oh, Mark also votes for Darth Vader.

But I am curious to know what other people who are as nerdy as I am think. SO. Tell me, who would win in a fight: Darth Vader, or Captain Kirk?

My New Favorite Book

2006-07-22T18:25:00.000-07:00

That's right. I have a new favorite book. I stopped by Barnes and Noble the other day and picked up a book I had been wanting to read. At the time, I did not realize that I was purchasing what would become my favorite book.

I have been reading Herodotus' The Histories. It's fascinating. Herodotus was a Greek Historian who lived around 400 B.C. or so. His book, The Histories, is mainly about how the ancient Greek city-states joined together to repel the invasion of the Persian Empire. But there is so much more! Herodotus goes back to the history of the conflict between Persia and the Greek city-states (which is really a story about the conflict between every independent country/city in the entire Mediterranean region and how different rulers started to amass larger kingdoms), which is in and of itself interesting as he starts his narrative before the Trojan War. In fact his book is a seamless mixture of fact and mythology. Ok, maybe seamless isn't the right word, because it is really rather obvious that he is referring to various Greek myths, but he integrates the myths so well with the fact and various eyewitness accounts that the story flows. Yeah, that's a better word, flows.

I honestly haven't been able to read very much, as I've been bringing home lots of work, but I'm so excited about this book!!! I have to keep flipping between the maps at the beginning of the book and the notes at the end, which makes my progress go slower, but the story and the details are wonderful! I will actually go so far as to say, while I probably will not read this book every year, this book has surpassed even Pride and Prejudice.

Ummm, yeah. So I was just reading over my blog and I realized one very important thing: I'm a nerd. In my next blog I will discuss who would win in a fight: Darth Vader or Captain Kirk...

Happy Thoughts

2006-07-16T14:37:00.000-07:00

Ah, Sunday. I like Sundays. Especially the ice cream kind. But the day is cool too. I enjoy being able to go to church, to worship God and to learn more about Him.

Today, our pastor had a really good sermon that brought me back to my senses. I realized, looking over my past blogs, that I have complained, A LOT, about my job. And yes, my job sucks. But I also have a lot to be thankful for. 1 Thessalonians 5:16 says "Rejoice always;" (NASV). Pastor Dave made a very interesting point. He said that he doesn't think that we are to rejoice in the situation, but in God. Let's face it, life isn't always one big happy party. Sucky things happen, that's just life in a fallen world. But the cool thing is, that as a Christian, this world isn't all I have. Yeah, my job will sometimes suck, and I may lose everything in the next hurricane, but I have God, and the promise of eternal life. Like Dave said, I can go sit on the beach and be bummed out while all the people living in the cold, frozen north (well, it's really only cold and frozen in the winter) can only look at pictures of the beaches down here and wish they could be bummed out on the beach too. I have a lot to be thankful for, and since I made you all listen to my whining, y'all are going to have to listen to my thanks as well.

Let me see, where to start...
1. My husband
2. My loving family (even if they are far away I know they will always be there for me)
3. My cat
4. The fact that I have a job, even if I don't like it all the time.
5. My home
6. I have two full bathrooms (which is great with only two people living here!)
7. The fact that I am in good health and can do things for myself and others.
8. Cooking
9. My abilities to play the french horn and piano
10. The ability to write: poetry, prose, complaints, diaries and really pointless-but-fun-anyway blogs
11. I live 10 minutes from the Gulf of Mexico
12. The ability to read
13. My shoes (every last pair!)
AND, last but definitely the most important of all, my God, and that He has taken the trouble to love me, imperfections (including the odd broccoli in my teeth after lunch) and all, and that He has chosen me to be His child, to live with Him in Heaven when my life is over, never ceases to amaze me.

There, 14 basic things I am thankful for. And there is much more, but I must go make dinner because I am starving so I won't bother to write the other million things down.

Have a lovely Sunday everyone!

In response to being tagged...

2006-07-15T14:32:00.000-07:00

My wonderful sister-in-law, Anne (the favorite one on my side of the family, not to be confused with my favorite sister-in-law on my husband's side, April) has tagged me. It seems I must now divulge deep and personal information about myself, which will probably shock most of you...or probably won't, since most of you already know my deep and personal information....

Well, here it goes:

5 THINGS IN MY CLOSET
Well, despite the messiness, there's not that much in there...clothes, shoes (lots of shoes... much to my husband's chagrin), gift bags, an old doll cradle that my grandfather made me when I was a kid and I have no idea what to do with, and some random junk that I don't have any place else to store, but I'm also not really sure what to do with it...

5 THINGS IN MY FRIDGE
Well, it's a good thing I just went grocery shopping or I wouldn't be able to answer this one... let's see, I have milk (skim of course), yogurt (fat free...), Black Cherry Vanilla Coke, bread (yes that's right. bread. it lasts longer down here in the fridge. I'm not sure why, but it does.), and butter.

5 THINGS IN MY CAR
Hmm... this is a tough one... a golf ball (no I am not an avid golfer, I have no idea why the golf ball is in my car), an umbrella (it rains nearly every afternoon here), my sunglasses, the manual for my car (which as far as I'm concerned could be just as well written in Greek, since I don't understand a word of it, but I was told to always keep it in my glove box, just in case... in case of what, I'm not sure. I mean, I don't think that it would be very helpful if my car caught on fire and exploded, but I'm sure for little things, like changing tires, it could possibly have some use...for some one other than me...), and a kleenex box.

5 THINGS IN MY PURSE
Chapstick, lip stick, lip gloss, random papers that I should throw away but I haven't cleaned out my purse yet and kleenex, you know, just in case I go to a sad movie and cry my eyes out, I'll have something to blow my nose on...

Well. That is it. My deepest darkest secrets... or maybe not deepest and darkest, but close, maybe the light gray kind of secrets... hmmm.... maybe not even really light gray, off-whiteish perhaps...ANYWAY, April, it's your turn!

SOOOOOOOOO SLLOOOOWWWW

2006-07-08T17:20:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting at home, on a Saturday night, working. And my company's website is SOOOOOOOO SSSLLLLOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW. I have seriously been on the computer for exactly 38 minutes and have succeeded in doing about 6 minutes worth of work. The other 32 minutes have been waiting for my changes to be processed. Which is really boring and somewhat depressing. I keep flipping back and forth between my blog and the company web page but nothing is happening. Yep. Still nothing.

So, I'm going to ramble on and on and on about nothing while I wait for the stupid website to work so I can delete everything that I did on Friday morning. Which is also depressing. You know, all the changes that are occurring daily at my school are not very efficient. I spend more time changing the class sizes then I have enrolling children. I'm honestly scared to do anything, since everything will be changed by a some new committee at corporate and anything I have done be rendered moot. Like the class matrix. I'm wasting my Saturday evening redoing the matrix because I planned on 6 kindergarten and 6 first grade teachers based on our number and then corporate said "oh no! we would have to hire another teacher, and that would mean less money in our wallets... squish more kids into one class!" and now I have to squish more kids into one class. Which is why I'm writing in my blog waiting for my stupid web site to work so I can put 22 kindergarteners in one class instead of 18 (which is the FL state maximum for a class....)

Which brings me to a great idea for a poll. Every job has their ups and downs, but how long is long enough before you can start really detesting your job and want to quit? I mean, right now, I've worked this job less than 6 months and I really want to quit, but the problem is they need me.

SO: to all my devoted readers (or should I say reader?) how long must one wait before one can detest one's job?

I wish I was a cat

2006-07-07T17:43:00.000-07:00

Cats have life so easy (the ones who live in houses I mean). Take my cat for example: Mark and I work hard all day so we can get her the one kind of cat food she likes and keep her well stocked with kitty treats. All she does is lay around, play with her peppermint (the only thing she likes to play with, despite all the high-tech toys we bought her....). She doesn't even have to clean up after herself. Mark cleans out the litter box and I keep her food dish well stocked. She gets kitty treats for no reason, other than looking cute, and can sleep whenever she wants. She has no schedule, no nagging boss (or multiple bosses who contradict themselves...), no screaming children...It's all happy joy-joy for Pepper.

I wish I could be as languid as Pepper. I wish I didn't have to worry about work or money or deadlines or twenty nagging bosses who all tell me different things. I wish I could lay around all day and play with a peppermint. Cats don't have to worry about what they are going to wear to work and if the pants make them look fat or if their hair still looks ok by the end of the day or if they have food in their teeth when talking to prospective parents...

Sigh. But at least I get weekends to sleep in and do nothing. I'm so glad that it's Friday. I'm still not fully recovered from my vacation, or the sickness that I had from Sunday through Tuesday. I'm hoping that I get better by Monday. Maybe if I'm feeling better, I won't be as upset about work...

Back from Vacation

2006-07-06T14:52:00.000-07:00

I never like the day back at work after vacation, but today was particularly horrible. My husband and I had been planning a two week tour of the north pretty much since we moved to Florida in November. We figured it would give us time to say hi to everyone we hadn't seen since Christmas. Since we both work at a school, we figured that we could spare two weeks in the summer, no problem. And then I was told that my position as registrar was a 12 month position, unlike my husbands teaching position which was only 10 months. Yay. So I took two weeks vacation. Everyone was notified a head of time. I spent almost all of June training two people to take my place (who did marvelously well!) and even made sure that the school had my cell phone number, just in case.

WELL. It seems that I did forget to do something. I forgot to enter the summer school grades last Friday. A thing I didn't know I was supposed to do until AFTER I received 500 voice messages about how I had to enter that information by 3 pm THE DAY THEY WERE CALLING. I got the messages at 9 pm. And no one told me who got what grade. So even if I had received the messages, it would have been pointless.

ANYWAY. I went to work today, not really ready to go back but at least ready to work hard. UNTIL I walked through the door. Not only was I chewed out, by another school's principal, not mine (who thinks I do a wonderful job) BUT I found out that while I was gone, another registrar was sent over to make sure that my school was OK. She spent the day going "oh no! She hasn't done that yet!" Yeah. DUH! I'M ON VACATION. As it was, I spent four hours on vacation working. Did I mention that this was DURING MY VACATION? So excuse me for wanting to spend time with a family I don't see any more.

AND (yes, there's more) while I was gone, it seems that someone has decided that we need/can hold 200 more students (no people, that number is not an exaggeration, unlike the majority of numbers I throw out) than we currently have enrolled, which means more teachers. The problem is we are a school in FLORIDA. There are no teachers in FLORIDA. WHERE ARE WE GOING TO FIND THE TEACHERS FOR 200 MORE KIDS?!?!?! OFF THE STREET?!? WHERE?!!!!! I am sorry, but I have an ethical problem with claiming to parents that we have smaller class sizes then other public schools when we don't have the teachers to teach the kids we already have. So either we're going to have classes that are double the normal size, or we're going to have to call a lot of parents and say "oh, so sorry. thought we could accommodate you, but guess not. better luck next time."

To be honest, the situation sucked when I left for vacation, and I was hoping that two weeks away would help me not hate my job so much. I kept telling myself that a break would be good. And then, today, amidst the chewing out for being on vacation when I was supposed to be working (so sorry, my bad. I forgot I'm not supposed to have a life outside of work) I was told that my job should make me stressed. While I didn't say anything, what I really wanted to do was say "I'm sorry, 'honey' but you don't pay me enough to be stressed." And then walk away and never come back. Honestly. This is not what I want to be doing for the rest of my life, even less so if the pay is crappy and the job is stressful. Screw this! The only reason I'm going back to work tomorrow is because of four people: the two girls who helped me out on vacation, the new principal and the old principal. I'm walking back into work tomorrow to do my job the best I can because that is all I can do. But it is so hard when every day has been a day like today. I wish I was still on vacation...

Summer

2006-05-24T13:15:00.000-07:00

Ah, the beauty of approaching summer.Today is the second to last day, and then no more students. I probably shouldn't be so excited about summer break, as I have to work all summer at the school. I think I'm excited because this summer, I can actually organize my desk and get prepared for next year. The worst thing about starting a job in the middle is having no idea how to begin. Everything that I would have done to prepare for the school year I couldn't do, I had to go with the flow that had already been created. Unfortunately, the created flow was really, really screwed up. But now I can create my own flow, my own organization and make it my own. And I can take the summer to prepare it all. I guess that's why I'm excited for summer.

Or maybe it's because I'll not be working with children all summer. I've done my share of babysitting, and in general enjoy being around children, but there's something about having 20 some odd kids all yelling for my attention that just makes me say "this is not what I want to do for very long." I mean, they're in 2nd grade, and some can't tie their own shoes and others, no matter how many times I show them and make them, cannot, to save their little lives, type in www.disney.com. Now this doesn't mean that I won't miss the little buggers, but I definitely need a break.

I will miss not being able to walk down the hall without at least three children stopping me to give me hugs, show me their science project or just say hi. I will miss that. And I will miss students bringing left over cupcakes or other snacks to my office thus ruining my diet yet again... But I will also enjoy a summer partially off. And maybe I can go to the beach or do some other summery things...

Ah, the joys of approaching summer!

IT'S FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-04-07T13:14:00.000-07:00

It's Friday and I am so happy!! I'm losing my voice due to a cough, but I am happy!!! Only 15 more minutes until I'M FREE FOR ONE WEEK (and one day). That's right ABSOLUTELY no work for ONE WHOLE WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Freedom is just 15 minutes away.

To all you poor, poor people out there who do not work in academia, nah nah!!! I have spring break!!! Although, I suppose all you poor, poor people out there are saying "nah, nah, I make more money than you!"

I guess it's a toss up: lots of vacation (2 weeks at Christmas, Spring Break and Summer Break) vs. money. To be honest, I'm enjoying life far more (and I'm more productive because I have more time off) with all the vacations and I'm not burned out as quickly from all the work. Money isn't half as important to me as enjoying my job, and as much as I complain, I really do like my job. And I like vacation. It's really a great combination for me. The best part is that Mark and I have the same vacation schedule, so we don't have to worry about coordinating our vacation times.

Mark's parents are coming on Sunday night and staying almost the whole week! We are really looking forward to their visit. Mark has been hogging the computer at home all night looking at all the fun tourist things to do in our area. It's going to be one very packed week.

I really enjoy having company. Since Mark and I don't know a whole lot of people yet, having company gets us out of the house more than we normally would. Company gives us a reason to go places.

Well, I have only five minutes left now. I have to get the kids lined up and into the cafeteria. This is the hardest part of my day. Seriously, who wants to go sit in the cafeteria for a half hour and do homework after school? I don't blame them for dragging their feet. Although, it is harder for me to get out on time when they don't cooperate....

Have a lovely Friday, everyone!!!

How slowly the day slugs by...

2006-04-06T12:47:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting in the computer lab of an elementary school, helping second and third graders log onto things like Disney Channel or Hotwheels.... it's really thrilling. Really. I am waiting for 4:30 and my release. Normally I am not impatient about getting out of work. Normally I'm surprised that it's 4:30 already. So why is this day going so slowly?

Why? Because I woke up this morning wondering why Mark had set the alarm on a Saturday morning. And then I thought, "no, it's not Saturday, it's Friday." But no, I was still wrong. With a horrid jolt of reality, I realized that it was Thursday. Yes. That's right. Only Thursday. Awful, evil Thursday. This realization was made worse by the thought that after Friday, I'm on Spring Break, and I don't have to work for ONE WHOLE WEEK. I almost cried.

That is why this day has dragged on, slowly, so slowly. I am the tortoise, spring break is the carrot. I can't seem to reach this goal, even though I can see it, even though it is soooooo close. It's cruel really. It's got to be 4:30 somewhere in the world. That has to count, right? Can I go now? Please? Please?

For Your Viewing Pleasure

2006-04-05T16:34:00.000-07:00

I just realized how boring my blog looks without pictures. So, I present a visual feast! Random pictures that I picked with no point. Enjoy!

This is my cat, Pepper. And yes, Pepper is missing her tail. No, this is not out of malicious cruelty nor freak accident. Pepper was born without a tail. She is a Manx cat. However, if you ever talk to Pepper, please refrain from mentioning her lack of tail, as she is very sensitive about it. Thank you.

This is our second bathroom. Both Mark and I are inordinately proud of it. You see, Mark picked out the shower curtain and the other accessories all by himself. He's so versatile!

And here is the front view of Six Mile Charter Academy, where Mark and I work. It's a great school!

Here I am helping Pepper pose for the camera.

And finally, for all you poor stiffs still stuck in the somewhat-frozen North, this a view of the Gulf of Mexico, taken at the beginning of February.

Computers

2006-04-02T14:26:00.000-07:00

I can never quiet reconcile myself to how much I depend on my computer. I hate my computer, yet, if it decided to quit on me, I really don't know what I would do.

Take my work computer for example. It's a relatively nice computer, it's not the uber-computer I would like, but it works, most of the time. Unfortunately for me, most of what I do for a living revolves around my computer. And when my computer decides that it's break time, I sit and stare at the screen in an unintelligent way, wondering two things: why did the computer die and what am I going to do now? Fortunately, my work computer doesn't stay dead for very long and after a few minutes of my stupid consternation, I am able to get the dumb thing back up and running. But the thought does run through my head, that if my computer doesn't come back on, then I really have no business sitting at my desk doing nothing, which, after a few minutes of filing, would be all I have to do for the rest of the day without my computer. And so, my job is dependent on my computer.

Now, I have been avoiding my home computer like the plague because it is worse than my work computer. Once I get the home computer up and running, it's ok. My problem with my home computer is getting it up and running. It takes FOREVER to load. I have no idea why, we aren't using a whole lot of the memory space. To be honest, my home computer reminds me of me in the morning before I have coffee: excessively sluggish and really cranky at being woken up.

However, what I can't stand the most about my computers is not the computers themselves, but what they make me realize about me. When I turn on the computer, either at work or at home, I realize how impatient I am. I get so frustrated that my computer takes one whole minute to warm up. ONE MINUTE!!! I can do so much in a minute. I can say hi to a co-worker, or file my nails or pick up the phone. Never mind that I can do all those things while waiting for the computer to load up, it's the fact that I have to wait.

The other thing I can't stand about computers is the fact that I am so dependent on them. Take right now for example. I can type what I'm thinking more quickly than I can write it out by hand. And I like to write. I can also share my opinions with anyone who cares to read this blog. I'm not saying these are bad things, but I'm saying that I'm too dependent on them. The world will not end if no one can read my pointless ramblings and the world will not end if it takes me twenty minutes longer to write what I am thinking. It really all goes back to the impatience thing.

Computers have helped emphasize my impatience. It's kind of like being able to look in the mirror and realize that all day long I have had a piece of broccoli stuck in my teeth. That realization will haunt me for the rest of the day, wondering how many people I talked to with that food in my teeth and what a moron I must have appeared. The reality is, I would have been much happier if I had never known about the broccoli in my teeth. The computer is the mirror that brings out my "broccoli" (impatience). Now I have to ask myself, would others be happier if I knew about the "broccoli" and took it out, or if I remained clueless?

I am still Alive... I think

2006-04-01T18:30:00.000-08:00

Hello to both my readers....

I am so sorry that I haven't written on my blog for a while. Moving takes a very long time, I have discovered. I still don't feel completely moved in, and I still don't know where I put everything...

I probably would be a little more on top of things, however, if I didn't have 30,000 jobs... ok, well, maybe not 30,000 but I do have a lot of jobs... Let me see... I'm a secretary, registrar, second/third grade aftercare teacher, piano teacher and a Mary Kay independent consultant. So 5. I have 5 jobs... sigh. No wonder I'm tired.

*** I pause this bolg for a shameless plug:
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Well, jobs are boring. But I did FINALLY get a kitchen table!!!!! I have been eating off of TV trays for about 3 months. THREE MONTHS PEOPLE. I cannot tell you how excited I am that Mark and I bought our first piece of furniture that is not made out of pergo board!!! AND this means that I have a somewhat matching furniture scheme. That's right. My table matches my chairs. THERE IS A GOD!!! Ok, well, I already knew that, but matching furniture just solidifies the knowledge.

Wow. My life is boring. All I can think of to write about are jobs and tables... The cat is having fun. I'm actually surprised. Usually she does something for/on April Fools day, but this year, nothing beyond the usual 2 am "I'm bored, let's play" noises. Let me think, the first year we bought her on April Fools day, and that caused quite a stir with Mark. He wasn't used to cats, especially kittens who like to poop. Then the year after she was playing with a piece of string on March 31st, which mysteriously disappeared only to re-emerge as a poo-covered piece of string on my pillow with which the cat was playing as she was pooping it out at 4 am. And last year, she was scared by another cat walking past our window (again at 4 am...) and pooed down the wall. I wonder what it is with Pepper and poo? All my even slightly funny cat stories revolve around her taking a dump in a really-not-so-good-place-to-take-a-dump spot.

AND, on that lovely note, I shall leave you, my reader(s) and go to bed, as it is already past my bed time and I still have to turn all my clocks back for daylight savings time!

Why logic is asinine

2006-01-08T14:52:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I may brand myself forever as a nerd with this post, but that's fine with me. I've spent most of Sunday afternoon laughing about a "logical" argument I saw on T.V.

I suppose a better name for this post would be "why one person's 'scientific' logic is asinine" but to be blunt, it's not quite as catchy as the one I have.

I was watching a PBS special Sunday entitled "The Search for God: C.S. Lewis and Sigmund Freud". Why this brands me as a nerd is that I was so excited about this special, I put off grocery shopping until tomorrow, so I could be sure that I was home in time to watch this. The special was very intriguing and thought provoking. The main point is to tell C.S. Lewis' and Sigmund Freud's views on God and religion and then show a "round table" discussion of some prominent American thinkers talking about their beliefs and who they agreed with. For those of my readers who don't know: Lewis was a very vocal Christian and Freud a very vocal atheist.

While the whole program was interesting (and I'm exceptionally excited for the second half next week) there is one thought, one bit of "logic" that was presented that I would love to share with all my readers.

One man who was part of the discussion of theism vs. Atheism, and I apologize but I forgot his name, was arguing against the existence of God. As I understood his argument is presented as follows in my own words.

If God really exists, then why doesn't everybody believe in Him? If God is real, than it should be plain as day, and there wouldn't be any question, any "leap of faith" regarding His presence, authority and/or deity. However, since there are questions and not everybody has come to the same conclusion about God, He must therefore not exist and Scientific Rationality (this man's personal philosophy) must be true.

Silly, silly man!!! I don't think that he realizes his argument is moot. Say that his logic is true. Say that infallible proof and universal belief are the only way to distinguish what is and is not True. Than the converse of his argument is also in jeopardy. Not everyone agrees with Science. Not everyone comes to the same conclusion in Scientific arguments. In fact, the majority of my generation holds a Post Modern Philosophy: Science is dead. Therefore, if not everyone believes in Science, if, philosophically, Science has been disproved, than Science is not True. And we are left with a void. Now, before I go on, I should probably state why Science has been officially philosophically disproved. I refer to C.S. Lewis' book Miracles: a preliminary study as the basis for my ideas, mainly because Lewis is one of my favorite authors and he is one of the most logical people I have ever read.

"All possible knowledge, then, depends upon the validity of reasoning. If the feeling of certainty we express by words like must be and therefore and since is a real perception of how things outside our own minds 'must' be, well and good. But if this certainty is merely a feeling in our own minds and not a genuine insight into realities beyond them - if it merely represents the way our minds happens to work - then we can have no knowledge. Unless Human reasoning is valid no science can be true" (pg. 20).

Lewis goes on to discuss rational vs. irrational thought. Rational thought (thought based upon facts) we listen to. Irrational thought (thought based upon emotions with no facts) we ignore, we consider valueless. Therefore, the next logical conclusion is that Reason (the collective human thought) is equally valueless IF based upon a belief that it is the result of irrational causes.

Now, most modern scientists believe that the world just happened. We are the result of chance. There is no supernatural power, no Being outside of nature that caused us, we just are. And this is what we call Evolution. The theory that people believe in because they cannot admit there might be a God. And here is the kicker (I've been laughing at this all Sunday!): "The mind, like every other particular thing or event, is supposed to be simply the product of the Total System [Evolution]. It is supposed to be that and nothing more, have no power whatever of 'going on its own accord.' And the Total System is not supposed to be rational. All thoughts whatever are therefore the results of irrational causes , and nothing more than that. The finest piece of scientific reasoning is caused in just the same irrational way as the thoughts a man has because a bit of bone is pressing on his brain... The Naturalist cannot condemn other people's throughout because they have irrational causes and continue to believe his won which have (if Naturalism is true) equally irrational causes" (pg. 22).

Or as Professor J.B.S. Haldane put it in Possible Worlds "If my mental processes are determined wholly by the motions of atoms in my brain, I have no reason to suppose that my beliefs are true... and hence I have no reason for supposing my brain to be composed of atoms" (pg. 209). (Lewis also uses this quote in his book... Marvelous!)

And all that was to say, the argument presented by some atheist on a discussion panel about why God does not logically exist was asinine. And that is why his scientific logic was silly. I wonder if people really think about what they are saying?

The Christmas Adventure: Chapter 3

2005-12-31T14:54:00.000-08:00

The Return Drive: why Georgia is now my least favorite state

Ahhh... the joys of three in the morning (actually it was three in the morning Illinois time, which is two in the morning Florida time). At least the roads were clear. Nothing was open, but there was no traffic! Again, I'm not sure how this part of the drive went; I pretty much slept through Illinois and didn't wake up until Kentucky, when my stomach started to growl. Mark blew my mind: he drove for almost 7 hours straight! I offered to drive, but he didn't want me driving through Atlanta again. So we drove. Kentucky and Tennessee went by quickly, as did the first hour of Georgia. And then Atlanta hit.

It was about 1:30 in the afternoon. Traffic was heavy, but nothing too bad, until three quarters of the way through Atlanta, we hit a traffic jam. In fact, we were in bumper to bumper traffic practically the ENTIRE length of Georgia. Which is why Georgia is now my least favorite state. We lost two hours sitting on the highway waiting. We weren't sure what for. Eventually we discovered that some genius *note the excessive sarcasm* decided that, gee, wouldn't it be great if I 75 was three lanes all the way through Georgia? And yes, that would be nifty, I'm sure. But PLEASE don't EVER have more than 5 miles of a road blocked off for construction at one time!!! NOT COOL, PEOPLE! And what ever you do, DON'T EVER, EVER, BLOCK OFF AN ENTIRE HIGHWAY DURING THE HOLIDAY SEASON!!!!! And that is why I don't ever want to drive through Georgia again. I'm sure the people are lovely, they just need better decision makers.

Thanks to the brilliant minds of Georgia's road construction people, we didn't get back into Bradenton, Florida until about 10:30 pm, instead of the 8:30 we had been planning on. And we still had to take Grandma's car through the carwash, and unload and switch cars. Needless to say, that after leaving at 3 am (2 am Florida time) we didn't get home until 12:15 am. That's right. A drive which, on the way up, had only taken us 19 hours, was transformed into a 22 hour return trip. I am never driving again. From now on, people, if you want to see me, you can spend 20 some odd hours in a car with a car sick cat and traffic jams in Georgia and drive down here!

And that was our Christmas Adventure. I suppose it wasn't very adventurous, but we had fun, despite all the icky things that happened on the road.

The End.

The Christmas Adventure: Chapter 2

2005-12-30T19:24:00.000-08:00

Visiting EVERYONE (and his brother....)

While we only went to three different houses (in three different states) I almost feel as if we went to a million different places. In Michigan we saw a few old friends and my brother and his wife (hi Anne!!). I can't truthfully say that I missed Michigan too much. Mark and I agreed that we missed the people, but we definitely didn't miss waking up cold! We have only lived in Florida for two months and we are already spoiled by the warmth!!

I must admit that, of all the non-human things about Michigan, I miss Meijer the most. The worst part about moving (besides leaving all your friends behind) is having to find a new grocery store. I'm used to the wide aisles, the placement and the products that Meijer has. I have only visited two new grocery stores, and have not been impressed. Part of my discontent is not wanting to take the time to figure out where everything is. I want to be able to take my list and get in and out of a grocery store quickly. I HATE, with a passion, having to go down EVERY aisle just to find where some stockboy put the Cheez-Its. And it's never where you expect it to be. Why can't all stores stock their wares the same? It would be so much easier...

Any way, grocery store issues aside, Michigan was fun. Anne and I were able to hang out, almost like old times. We even did a Christmas morning, with presents and a big breakfast and sitting around in our pajamas until one in the afternoon. It was lovely!

From Michigan we went to Illinois to spend time with Mark's parents, his sister, brother-in-law and our nephew (the cutest baby in the world, by the way). We had loads of fun. Mark's parents took us out to see King Kong (by the way, thanks a lot, Peter Jackson!! I SOBBED through the WHOLE movie. Three hours of crying). We also did multiple Christmases with various members of Mark's family. It was a fast paced three days, but we had fun.

And then it was off to Iowa! Miraculously enough, it was only on our drive to Iowa that we hit any kind of even minor bad weather. We went through about an hour of misty rain. Up until then, everything had been very clear.

Iowa was more laid back than Michigan and Illinois. Most of the people we wanted to see came to us, which made for a very crowded house at times (at one point we had three cats, a dog, and 14 people). I am very proud of Pepper, who proved that despite her small size and lack of tail, she can intimidate other cats. My parents' cats are almost twice Pepper's size, but when we put them together, all Pepper had to do was hiss once and the other two hid. We never tried to see if Pepper could take on the dog. Nick is a hunting dog, so we weren't too sure that it would be too safe to see if my cat could beat up my aunt's dog...

Christmas was splendiferous. We had a lovely breakfast, complete with crispy cinnamon rolls. Church was fun. My parents bragged about their musical children and the long and short of that was I had to bring my French Horn and play with a mini orchestra. I wasn't sure how that would go, as I am not much of a sight reader... But the other musicians were very good and everything worked out well. As for the notes I missed, well, we'll just call it "modern music" and no one will really know much of a difference...

We were sad to say goodbye to our families, but having already driven about 1600 miles, we needed to leave. So on Monday afternoon, we bid my family farewell and drove, once more, to Mark's parents'. Randy and Brenda took us out to an early dinner at one of Mark's favorite pizza places, Monacal's, and then sent us to bed. And that was how, in a little over a week, we visited three states and all immediate relatives. Whew!

But little did we know that the fun was just about to begin...

The Christmas Adventure: Chapter 1

2005-12-28T18:26:00.000-08:00

The Drive Up

Mark and I had planned to drive up North for Christmas, as (most of you who have read my blog before know) we had recently (and rather quickly) moved from Michigan to Florida. We chose to drive instead of fly since our families are rather scattered across the Midwest. Mark's parents live in Illinois, mine in Iowa, my brother and sister-in-law live in Michigan and Mark's sister and her husband and son are in the process of moving from Indiana to Pennsylvania. So a drive was necessary to visit all major relatives as well as say one more good-bye to our friends in Michigan. We talked with relatives and friends and created the itinerary as follows (not necessarily to minimize driving but to maximize our ability to fit into other people's schedules): We would leave Ft. Myers on Friday the 16 th after we had finished packing the car, drive up to Bradenton, where my grandmother lives, pick up some presents from her that she did not want to take on the plane with her and switch cars (Grandma was kind enough to suggest that we drive her car) spend the night and leave early Saturday morning for Illinois. We would spend Saturday night in Illinois with Mark's parents, go to Church on Sunday morning and leave in the afternoon for Grand Rapids, Michigan. We would stay in Grand Rapids until Wednesday, when we would leave for Illinois and Mark's parents again to spend more time with them and Mark's sister, brother-in-law and nephew, who were also visiting at that time. We would stay in Illinois until Saturday morning and then drive up to Iowa and my family. On Monday afternoon we would leave Iowa and make one more pit stop in Illinois to spend the night and then FINALLY leave on Tuesday morning and drive to Florida, taking our time. There was one hitch. We had no idea what to do with our cat, Pepper.

Contrary to popular catish behavior, Pepper is very social and does not do well when left alone for more than a day. She needs people and attention. All the people we met so far were going on vacation as well and would not be able to care for our cat. So we only had two options: put her in a kennel or take her with us. In the end it was deemed best to take the cat with us. As much as Pepper detests cars (she gets car sick) she would rather drive a million miles in a car with people than spend a week and a half in a kennel by herself. Fortunately, my parents said that they would meet us on Sunday to take the cat to their house. She would have to spend a week locked in a room, as my parents have two cats of their own, but they would be able to be with her and play with her, and a room is bigger than a kennel.

We were preparing to leave by 6 pm on Friday, however, packing took us longer than we expected. We didn't leave until about 7:30 pm. After working all day and packing we were both very tired. So we stopped by a gas station. Mark picked up a Redbull and some No-Doze (which, fortunately, he did not take at the same time). By the time we reached Bradenton and had switched out the cars, Mark was wide awake and ready to keep driving. I was not. So Mark drove and I slept. I woke up a few times, once when Mark's Redbull buzz ended and he pulled into a rest stop for a nap and once to give him some No-Doze. By the time Mark was weary of driving we had nearly reached Atlanta, Georgia. It was about 6 am. We stopped for breakfast. After two cups of coffee (an astonishingly small amount for me) I was ready to drive. Poor Mark was not able to rest much, however, as I absolutely hate driving in large cities and/or through lots of traffic.

Driving brings out the worst in me. I don't think anyone could say that I have road rage, but I definitely get stressed out and rather upset. I cannot stand stupidity, and many people, while probably intelligent in their own right, are rather stupid when it comes to driving. I usually grip the wheel and wonder where the guy who just cut me off and almost hit me was looking when he decided to come over into my lane. And what is up with the moron who decides to speed up so he can jerk his car in front of you and then slows down to about 10 miles under the speed limit? Really, people!!! Go back to driver's education and pay attention this time!!! Oh, and the gas is the pedal on the RIGHT. USE IT. That's how the car goes forward.

Ahem. Needless to say, I survived Atlanta, and Mark graciously suggested that he take over while I recover from all the near death experiences we just had from people who are incapable of looking where they are going. In fact the rest of the drive was rather uneventful. The weather was nice, and the roads in good shape. Even the car sick cat did well. She threw up once and messed once in her cage. After that, she was fine and spent most of the trip on Mark's lap or laying on a pillow in the back seat. Only rarely did she alert us to her disdainful presence by meowing her discontent with us and with the world in general. Mark's parents were glad to see us and we were glad to finally, after about 17 hours in a car, take a nice warm shower and sleep in a bed, not curled up in a car seat. And we only had a six hour drive ahead of us! How lovely!

It's almost Christmas?

2005-12-11T11:18:00.000-08:00

Where have I been?

I can't believe how quickly time has flown!! Between moving from Michigan to Florida, preparing for Thanksgiving and suddenly being thrown into a 2.5 week substitute teaching position, I have no idea where the time went! It doesn't help that Florida in middle of December is lacking a few Christmas-esque necessities, like snow, and, well, snow. It's hard to believe that it is winter when one is sitting in 80 degree weather, wearing shorts and thinking about swimming.

The weather-man made me laugh the other day. He said that we were going to experience "chilly" weather - only a high of 65 degrees later this week. HA! I can't believe that 65 degrees is chilly!

I am, however, enjoying the warm weather. It is nice to relax by the pool after a hard day of dealing with wound up children. I never would have guessed how difficult it is to keep a 6th grader concentrating on math when Christmas break is only a week away. Oh well, I suppose we are all hard to keep on task when Christmas vacation is so close!

I am looking forward to returning to the frozen north to see all my friends and family. The problem is that all my family is rather spread out over four different states. So my husband and I (and the car-sick cat) are driving north, spending a day or two in Illinois, driving to Indiana then Michigan then Iowa and making on last stop in Illinois to say hi one final time before returning to the warm embrace of Florida. We have two weeks. This should prove very interesting. But at least I will be able to play in the snow again. By the way that reminds me: Thank you Michael for giving me my farewell snowball fight. It was truly the best snowball fight I have ever had!

I wish all the people who have bothered to read this long rambling post a very happy holiday and safe travels!

Sigh

2005-11-18T06:29:00.000-08:00

Or in French, Le Sigh.

Today is a bittersweet day. I have created this blog so that all my dear friends in Michigan can still be connected to me as I move to Florida. I thought that I would be excited to escape the bitter cold Michigan winters for the tropical warmth of Florida. But, if I'm really honest with myself, I like snow. No matter how old I get, I shall always enjoy building snowmen (and women) and making snow angels and having snowball fights. I'm going to miss snow. I'm going to miss a lot of things about Michigan: the seasons, my friends, even my job.

Today is my last day of work, which is really sad since I love my job. My co-workers are the best! Every day, before I leave, Kris says "Amy, thank you for all your hard work! We really love having you here." EVERY DAY!!! I'm going to miss that. I'll miss the girls' lunches that we have, sitting in a back room talking about anything and everything. I'll miss sitting at my desk, laughing with the college students I help, the students that I mentor and the ones who are just there because I am. I'll miss my co-workers, my supervisor, the division chair. I'll just miss everyone.

But I'm also excited. I get to finally see my husband, after three weeks!!!! And, I'M MOVING TO FLORIDA!! I'll have a swimming pool, and it's warm and pretty and I can swim in the ocean if I want, which I don't really want to since I'm not much of a fish fan, but I still have the option and options are really, really nice, as is this insanely long sentence because insanely long sentences, though grammatically incorrect, are really fun to write and I'm trying to beat Sir Walter Scott's 63 word sentence from his book Ivanhoe, which is a very good book albeit somewhat long winded, like me! Yeah. I think that sentence just beat my last record.

So here is to last days and new beginnings. Here is to old friends and ones not yet discovered, to memories, hopes, fears and the future. Here is to starting on an amazing adventure!

Amy's asininity

*Sigh*

About Our Newest Family Member

Crochet Pattern for Stuffed Bubble Yoda

Word in Worship II

Words and Worship Part I

Robyn Update

Procrastination

Eating octopus

Boasting in my weakness

Fall

Ha!

Hi to anyone who is still reading...

Just when I thought things couldn't get more complicated

Homework

The day after...

Oh Well

HA!

I'm on a roll!

So... It's been a while...

A Belated Thanksgiving

The Newest Addition to Our Family

Taking a Day Off

Fun Fact

OK, so working in an elementary school has it's advantages...

Why Education in Florida Sucks

The Lovely Thing about Living in Florida...

OK, So I promised myself I wouldn't do this but...

Wagner's the Coolest

The Love of My Life

Captain Kirk vs. Darth Vader

My New Favorite Book

Happy Thoughts

In response to being tagged...

SOOOOOOOOO SLLOOOOWWWW

I wish I was a cat

Back from Vacation

Summer

IT'S FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How slowly the day slugs by...

For Your Viewing Pleasure

Computers

I am still Alive... I think

Why logic is asinine

The Christmas Adventure: Chapter 3

The Christmas Adventure: Chapter 2

The Christmas Adventure: Chapter 1

It's almost Christmas?

Sigh

Sigh